An abstinence intervention

Since it's roughly 19 days until the new rabbit's neuter, and I most certainly don't like having any non-moving body part humped, I've decided to try an abstinence intervention with the new rabbit.

Since there really doesn't seem to be a rabbit abstinence program to use, I'm makin it up as I go along.

First, I tried the rational approach.

I very gently, in a firm but yet kind voice, told the new bunny that while I was deeply honored he chose me over Smudge to be his lust interest, I really don't appreciate being nipped and mounted. And I most certainly don't appreciate being sprayed.

I then informed him that any relationship we would have would just not work out. He's a lagomorph, I'm a human. Two quite incompatable species. And besides, what would the neighbors think?

This did not have any effect as he quickly jumped on my chest, moved up to my shoulder, grabbed some hair and tried to make out. He didn't even ask to hold hands first.


So next, I told him the story about Romeo and Juliet. True, this isn't quite the same thing, as there is no murder, or squabling families involved. Unrequited love just didn't work out for Romeo, or Juliet for that matter.

Perhaps this wasn't the best allegory to use. And it had no effect anyway, as the bun then tried to mount my hand.


The next tactic was to explain to him that all of this sexual energy he has would make it very difficult for him to find a path as priest, or monk. That the path to God is through piety and chastity. Trying to have wanton sex with my appendages would be highly frowned upon by the Catholic church.

Now, it's at this point that some of you are frowning or crossing yourself over the thought of my rabbit being a priest.

But I don't recall anything in the Bible that says, "Thou shalt not have bunny priests".

Some commandments, beatitudes, and some scary things near the end; but nope, no mention of bunny priests.

And it was never discussed in Sunday school or religion class.

But I'm a "wedding and funeral" Catholic, so what do I know?

Well, perhaps he was thinking this over as he laid down for a bit.

Ah, maybe not, he must've just been resting up.


But I stayed with the religious theme and pointed out the 7 deadly sins:

• lust
• gluttony
• greed
• sloth
• wrath
• envy
• pride

See, it's the very first one listed. That can't be good. From wikipedia:

Lust is usually thought of as involving obsessive or excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature. Unfulfilled lusts sometimes lead to sexual or sociological compulsions and/or transgressions including (but obviously not limited to) sexual addiction, adultery, bestiality, and rape. Dante's criterion was "excessive love of others," which therefore rendered love and devotion to God as secondary. However, lust and love are two different things; while a genuine, selfless love can represent the highest degree of development and feeling of community with others in a human relationship, Lust can be described as the excessive desire for sexual release. The other person can be therefore seen as a "means to an end" for the fulfillment of the subject's desires, and becomes thus objectified in the process. In Purgatorio, the penitent walks within flames to purge himself of lustful/sexual thoughts.

Gonna go straight to hell, if he doesn't learn number one on the Church's 7 virtues; chastity.

Embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought through education and betterment.

And number two is - abstinence. See, the Church knows what it's doing.

Boy, he sure is fascinated with my hand, even tries to hump it if I lift it up.


I made one last attempt at the religious angle and tried to get him to at least think about joining an abstinence group. That it's important to save his virginity for his life partner.

It's understandable that he may not want to undergo the rigors of the priesthood, but he could stave off sex for a short time, while he waits for his bunny life partner to come along. She could be along any minute for all he knows. Not much time to wait at all. See, there's even a pledge he could take:

"Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate, and my future children to a lifetime of purity including sexual abstinence from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship."

Over 2 million youths belong to the True Love Waits abstinence group. He could find some mentors to help him out in his abstinence quest. Now, I have no idea how many rabbits are in this group, but with over 2 million youths, there's gotta be some rabbits in there somewhere.

Weeeeeeell maybe that's not gonna work either, cause he's revved up without mounting anything at all.


So, moving on to sex toys.
Gotta admit, rabbit sex toys aren't something I have a plentiful supply of. So I'm gonna try using some dog balls (toys that is, not anatomical).

First, the grapefruit sized fuzzy ball.

Nope, nada

Next up is the bigger plastic ball.

Sigh, still no go.


Only 19 days to go